Thank goodness for big 1/2 pound hamburgers and french fries. Yes I splurged on Friday of week 4. I felt I deserved it and it was just as good as I had hoped. I felt a twinge of guilt afterwards but didn’t let it hang around. That’s part of the process. In order to really change my relationship to food I need to, not only, be more aware of what I eat but also to allow myself to have moments where I enjoy it for it’s own sake. I love good food and that is never going to change. Coming to terms with the fact that I can still occasionally enjoy the “too big” meal has freed me from the guilt cycle. Enjoying a high caloric, yummy burger once in awhile does not mean I have failed in this process. The guilt cycle would normally make me continue the trend of eating poorly. It would tell me I had failed and it didn’t matter anymore what I ate because I wasn’t going to stick with the plan anyway. It was a nice realization.

With the help of my nutritionist I set goals for the week. One of the goals last week was to avoid birthday cake at my son’s second birthday party in as many weeks. (One was for the adults and one for kids. Spoiled, I know.) Well, I ate a piece anyway. Guess what, my nutritionist was happy I ate the cake. Said she never should have let me set that goal in the first place. When we deny our pleasure urges we wind up being miserable and binge eat later. It’s okay to have cake or a hamburger just not all the time or in large quantities.

The workout designed by my trainer, Heather, is also working well. I enjoy it and it keeps me on my toes. She is always adding a new wrinkle to the routine so it never gets stale. Heather is great. I really look forward to our sessions together. Her encouragement is a great help and her sense of humor keeps it light. The real test will be when this is over and I have to motivate myself to get up and go to the gym.

On Tuesday Feb. 10th I climbed back on the scale to find I had lost 10 pounds. I can already feel the difference. My confidence and energy are up and I feel better. My goal was 20 pounds in 10 weeks so I am on track.

So far this has been an invaluable experience and I am proud of my own efforts.

Next week my show opens and things will calm down a little bit. I hope to add a workout to my week once that happens.

Bye for now.